I like being the steady friend who takes care of the things that need to be taken cared of whenever we have “grown up” gatherings (aka when things need to be planned out). I am always that girl, and I love being that for them. It makes me feel important.
I like being the steady friend that they can go to when they just want to chill out and talk. I think everyone needs one in their set of friends, or at least one in their lives. Everyone needs some kind of solid foundation. I’m not saying that I’m the super innocent “never did anything bad” friend, it’s just that my friends are super out there that I look so boring compared to them, but I don’t mind. I let them do their thing, and I will just be watching on the sidelines and wait for them to live out the phase and I cannot wait til they get tired of going out every week and just settle down a bit. I will be patiently waiting because I’m Aia and I will always believe that everything will fall into place at the right time when it’s supposed to. But for right now, this is us and it is just as it should be.
We will continue to grow up and old together. I know this now. This might be as naive as it gets, but as time goes by, I become more sure of us. I was sure that around this time, I would completely lose touch with them, but the latter part of this year has been so great and I think it was important that it happened. The distance that happens in between is inevitable and necessary. And even though we will be seeing less of each other as time goes by, we will always have these moments that will bring us back to what brought us together in the first place. This is what I have with them and I will always keep it in my heart. And even though it seems that I’m the only one who feels this way about us, I don’t mind because I know they do too, just in their own way. We will never talk about this, and that's okay. I choose to write about it and they choose to live it. This is what makes us us and I love it.
I know I always say that I miss them more than they miss me, and that’s still true, but I choose not to mind. I refuse to miss them less just because they don’t miss me. I love us and I always will. I will always be writing about us. I think I’ve written about us more than I wanted to and it always says the same things, just in a different era of our lives. Well, my life, to be exact. I’ve written about us when I was depressed, when I was happy, and when I was with them living in the moment, just being there and participating. I have written about us when I missed them dearly and briefly regretted it after because I know that it was just me being sad and left out. But as we get older, I’ve learned to understand that no one will ever be the perfect friend/s. I have come to realize that they also have a life that they live that doesn’t involve you at all. They may and will forget you sometimes (most of the time), but they won’t forget about you when it counts. You won’t always be there during the nights when they said that it was the “best,” but the great thing about us is that there will always be another “best” night to come. This happens often since we’re such a big group, but this time around, I don’t mind.
I will love us always. I will always choose to love the distance when we’re apart and I will continue to love us when we’re together again. I will always be overdramatic about this. I refuse to feel less. I will always write about us and the moments that we felt horrible and infinite at the same time waiting for the sun to come up.
This will be the story of our lives and it’s still happening. Things will change and people will too, just like they should. Because what kind of story would that be if nothing changed at all?