Sorry, I'm Not Sorry

Last night I had some of my old friends over, old friends whom I've spent 90% of my time with during my most formative years, and we just talked the night away. Always my kind of night. We haven't been together in a room in a really really long time, and I found myself just letting it sink in because I've really missed the loudness when we're together. Life is so weird. 7 years ago, if you told me that we're going to be where we are now, I wouldn't have believed you. We probably would've laughed. Except maybe for Tim. I always knew that's where he was going to be, so at least there's that. 

Amidst all the talking and catching up, we somehow ended up looking at old photos that I had when were in grade school and high school and it was ridiculous how much pictures I had. Apparently, I have been dubbed "the treasure chest of memories" or something like that. I have pictures on my wall, my boxes, my Multiply account, basically everywhere and I never delete them or throw them out because, I mean, who would do that? Not me, obviously. I am a memory hoarder.

True enough, out of all my friends, I think I was always the one with the camera. I've always had this urge to document everything, big or small, just because I never want to forget. I like looking at photos and remembering that day/night, and more than that, remembering what it felt to be there. Participating. (Sorry, still not over Perks) But I mean, isn't that why we take pictures? I like looking at old photos and being transported back in time. I guess that's my thing. I have lots of "things," but I'm very particular about this one. I guess even back then I've always had the "this won't last forever" mantra or something and I'm glad because there will come a time that we're not going to be able to do this anymore. It'll become less and less over the years, and that's just life. It will eventually catch up. But in these pictures, we're always going to be there. It's always gonna be there to remind us that we did have nights like this and they were some of the best times we had together. It's just really nice to always be able to have that. Aren't you glad that I took/have those pictures? It's always an LOL moment with old photos, okay? ♡ 

"Some say that this is my fatal flaw but it is something I refuse to change. Because how sad is it, to dull that part of your humanness?"

This afternoon I read this article from Thought Catalog. It's about love and stuff, but that quote above just really stood out and hit home. All these years I always get shit about being so emotionally invested, and for the longest time I was lead to believe that it was a bad thing. Only recently did I realize that it's actually not. Sure, I'm just a bit more (okay maybe a lot more) emotional about these things, but whatever, man. I love us. It's what I feel. It's every bit as real as yours, it's just that I'm more vocal with it. But that's fine, you don't have to say anything. I'm okay with being the one who always says it out loud for us.